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It is that I want the life I have at this very moment to be shown dignity and worth. Div., graduated from The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology.
Nowhere does the biblical text say that salvation is based on our marital status; it is based on Christ. Until the day comes when relationship status is not an indicator of worth, I am left to sit in the uncomfortable tensions: the tension of wanting a relationship but not willing to get married for the sake of marriage; the tension of making people uncomfortable and wanting my life stage to be honored; the tension of tradition and my present life stage. How has our church shown the single life honor and respect? Prior, she spent five years as the Director of Youth Ministry at Sunnyvale Presbyterian Church.
And even as we nullify our power, we should also work to be as close to perfect to qualify as marriage material. I am one in a nation of girls raised up in the black church, polished from infancy to serve the Lord with minimal questions asked.
We’re indoctrinated from the time we’re in Sunday school: Good girls wait.
If you notice, I haven’t even gotten to the Pastor part of this… As a woman heading into ordained ministry, my vocation creates another obstacle to finding a partner. …until he realizes that I’m not going to shift my view at any point in time and he wonders what the role of a “Pastor’s Husband” would be. If you can’t handle that, then I don’t want to be in relationship with you anyways.
Both responses, I have decided, come from a place of assuming I am “too much.” Apparently, meeting a woman in a position of authority is intimidating or is not a norm that Christian men are looking for. The pastoral vocation is a man’s world, and I am a woman living in it.
I happen to also be in the process of becoming a fully ordained pastor.
What I didn’t know at the time was the existence of the invisible timeline of how the “Christian woman” was supposed to become a complete person: Then, when said list was finished, I would be an accomplished female of this world and would feel complete.
How can we help change the stigma around being single and help everyone know they “invaluable members of the family of God? Cassie is happy to be back in California and currently resides in North Bay.
She has begun the Listening in Place Project, traveling throughout the US to collect stories from those thinking outside the traditional Church box.
Yet, when I graduated unmarried and without children, apparently I was wandering off the beaten path.
Many people in the Christian Community are confused by my life stage and not sure what to do with me.
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How about asking about the passions I have in my life that make my world amazing?